Modeling Appropriate Behavior

(Fifth in a series)

About three years ago, Miller Donnelly, then a nine year old hockey player, made a satirical three minute video known as The Magic Hockey Helmet. In the video, Miller explains the magic of the hockey helmet in this way: "It does something simply amazing. When I put it on, it changes me from a 9-year-old boy to a 20-year-old man...The minute I put on my magic helmet and step on the ice, adults treat me much differently. They yell at me, they curse me, and they call me names. They treat me like I have been playing hockey for 15 years and get mad when I make a mistake."

While the outlandish behavior that occurs at youth sports events receives the majority of the attention in the media, those incidents account for a very small portion of what constitutes poor sportsmanship at youth sports events. It's the behavior described in Miller Donnelly's video that is at least as troubling as the more violent adult outbursts. You would be hard pressed to remember the last youth sports event that you attended that did not include parents or coaches berating officials, kids sitting on the bench for long periods of time, parents yelling instructions to their children from the sidelines, fans taunting opposing players or applauding their miscues, and kids being yelled at for making mistakes.

Having been a coach and administrator for more than 15 years, well past my own children's involvement in youth sports, I know firsthand the emotions that arise when watching kids play sports - especially my own. But I've also witnessed how much more enjoyable an event is for the youth athletes (and for me!) when they are allowed to play a game without worrying about whether the adults will misbehave. Not only do they enjoy it more, their play is much better since there is less fear that a mistake will precipitate an outburst. The relaxed atmosphere does not lessen the competitiveness of the event, rather, it puts it into the proper perspective and enables the kids to enjoy their participation.

As parents, coaches, officials, and administrators, we have an obligation to change the culture of youth sports so that the young athletes can experience all of the benefits of participation, many of which we've enumerated in previous posts. Although it's a challenge, it's imperative that we do what we can to ensure our kids are playing in a safe, supportive environment. Here are some things to consider implementing both personally as well as more formally.

Define what sportsmanship means to you and our organization. There are many different perspectives on what constitutes good sportsmanship. Almost all of them have some element of respect included: respect for the sport, for coaches, for opponents, for officials. In an article in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, a study of young athletes 10-18 years old found that they identified five elements of sportsmanship: a full commitment to participation, respect for the rules and officials, concern for social conventions, respect for opponents, and avoiding a "winning at all costs" attitude. If you show respect to others, your kids will learn to respect others and the rest of the elements of sportsmanship - fair play, playing by the rules, winning and losing with class, etc. - will take care of themselves. Whether you are a coach or a parent on the sidelines, the way you react to a situation will determine how the kids will handle similar situations. Demonstrate positive behavior. Stay calm and composed in stressful situations.

Make it about the kids. The goal of youth sports should be to have fun while enjoying healthy competition. An emphasis on winning only serves to create poor attitudes and unrealistic expectations for your child. Young athletes that focus on fun and competition are more likely to talk about how much they love the sport. Rather than ask "Did you win?', try asking "Did you have fun?" Make sure your kids understand that giving 100% effort and doing their best is the only requirement.

Make sure everyone knows what is expected of them. Although it would seem unnecessary to define adult behavior guidelines, sometimes adults need to be reminded of what is expected of them. Many programs and approaches have been developed over the years in response to the adult behavioral issues at youth sports events and to educate them on the nature, purpose, and benefits of youth sports. The Rutgers Youth Sports Research Council has developed several programs that can be used to educate participants. Organizations ranging from Little League to local community leagues have developed codes of conduct that parents must read and sign. These documents spell out expectations for parents whose children participate in their programs, and many also spell out penalties for infractions.

Emphasize sportsmanship in your program. If your organization's underlying philosophy values sportsmanship over winning, then sportsmanship will be part of your organization. If you focus your organization and its parents and coaches on helping young athletes master specific skills and improve their level of play, then you are more likely to teach the values of working hard, cooperating with others, and becoming well-adjusted adults.

Create a climate that promotes and rewards sportsmanship. According to an article in Education World, there are four key elements to creating a sportsmanlike environment:

1. Establishing a Positive Philosophy Defining winning in terms other than the scoreboard leads participants to develop sportsmanlike attitudes and behaviors. The philosophical outlook starts with the organization's leadership, and is integrated into all aspects of the program, from coach selection to officiating. The leadership must evangelize its philosophy and ensure actions and behaviors are in line with organizational goals.
   

2. Striving for Excellence Legendary basketball coach John Wooden said "Although I wanted my players to work to win, I tried to convince them they had always won when they had done their best." Winning is not the ultimate goal in building a youth sports program. Instilling the ideals that will be the foundation of success for both individuals and teams is. When success is related to putting forth the effort to to realize individual and team potential, then everyone can be a success.

3. Teaching Moral Principles There are many outside influences that must be overcome in order to impress upon young athletes the importance of demonstrating sportsmanship. With all of the televised sporting events available, it's easy for both athletes and coaches to be confused about what constitutes sportsmanship. In every game and in many practices, there are ample opportunities for your athletes to demonstrate sportsmanship; helping an opponent to her feet who was knocked down during a play, regardless of the result of the play, congratulating a player from the other team on the game winning hit, complimenting a team on their effort. Teach kids that opponents are there to test their ability, and that being an opponent doesn't mean being an enemy.
   

4. Providing Positive Role Models The best way to develop children who exhibit good sportsmanship is for the parents and adults in the program to demonstrate it themselves. Coaches should be "ethical role models" for the children they coach. Every decision made and action taken should be ethical, within the rules, and fair. The kids will notice, and they'll learn their sportsmanship lessons from their observations of adult behavior.

Kids don't learn their values in a vacuum. They are greatly influence by the adults with whom they come in contact. Coaches and administrators can have a significant effect on what the kids in their programs learn about competition, sportsmanship, and fair play by the actions and reactions of those adults. The best way to develop a positive, supportive, and fun program is to ensure that the adults that administer and coach in those programs support the organizational philosophy and that they demonstrate respect and sportsmanship in fulfilling their responsibilities. Not only will it result in more fun for the kids involved, it will foster their competitive instincts and allow them to improve their skills free from negative influences.

Next: Four Key Steps to Ensuring Success

Posted By: Jim Roynan

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