The Role of Adults in Youth Sports

(Third in a series)

Jay Coakley is a Professor of Sociology at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. He's also an author and an commentator on sports, society, and culture and focuses primarily on youth sports and socialization issues. Coakley has said the he has offered groups of students $100 for a photograph of eight or more adolescent girls playing sports unsupervised by adults. In 15 years, Coakley says, "I've never received such a photo."

Youth sports become more organized every year, from manicured fields kept in pristine condition to expensive uniforms that resemble those at the high school and college levels. Seasons are extended an extra couple of weeks, teams regularly travel to play in out-of-state tournaments requiring overnight stays, and even the food at the snack stands gets better every year! Without adult involvement, none of these changes would have occurred. Are these changes good for youth sports?

Adults, and specifically parents of youth athletes, have been fingered as the culprits for everything that is wrong with youth sports. And there are certainly legions of psychologists, sociologists, educators, and others who are more than willing to point the finger. While the most glaring of poor behaviors are not at all typical, they're the ones that are reported the most widely, and those incidents fuel the perception of an epidemic of out-of-control parents at youth sports events. But there are more subtle influences of adult involvement in youth sports, from the level of organization to the behaviors on the field and in the stands.

The push to get parents out of youth sports is being fueled primarily by those who see the boorish behavior evident at far too many contests. It's the rare event that does not include parents berating officials for bad calls or coaching their child from the sidelines or bleachers. But there are also those who think that youth sports are too organized, and that kids are missing out on fundamental lessons taught on the sandlot fields, where they develop skills like negotiating, conflict resolution, and leadership.

Tim Donovan, the Director of the Youth Sports Institute based at the State University of New York at Cortland, has been traveling around the state of New York promoting Sandlot Day 2010. On that designated day, the kids make the rules. They decide what to play, say, home run derby vs. baseball vs. wiffle ball. They decide what to wear (uniforms or not). They make the lineups. The program's guidelines give the players choices like coach the bases or not, umpire among themselves, and make any rearrangements necessary to play. The guidelines are only suggestions. Parents are welcome to attend, but they're not to be involved in the activity in any way. Donovan is not averse to organized sports. He just thinks that there should be other opportunities for kids to play sports where they are in charge of the game and the rules. "We're not the sports sheriff," Donovan said. "We think organized baseball is great. But we think it's also good for kids to play home run derby, to have passion and a sense of ownership about their sports."

It's unlikely that youth sports will return to the sandlots. It's much easier to get on Xbox and play a virtual basketball game than it is to find three other kids from the neighborhood for a 2-on-2 game. That's assuming a kid can even find a court near his house. While it's important to encourage kids to get out and play pick up games, it's equally important that adult involvement in organized youth sports contests provide some of the same benefits by removing the adult egos and tuning in to what's best for the kids. That doesn't always equate to winning a game. Most parents involve their children in youth sports with the best of intentions. Somewhere along the way, those intentions get distorted. Eliminating or minimizing parental involvement is not the answer, implying that all parental involvement is detrimental to a child's participation.

Parents have a significant impact on the positive outcomes of their children's participation in youth sports. A child's perception of their skill level, a key factor for young participants in whether they continue to play sports, is derived from two sources: their ability to demonstrate appropriate skill, and their parents' feedback on their ability. That is to say, if a parent thinks his or her child is performing well, then the child will also believe they are performing well. Parents have the ability to override outside perspectives and cues and instill a sense of confidence in their child.

It's important for parents to base their positive feedback on skills improvement rather than on comparison or on a standard of skill development. Telling Sally that her throws are stronger and more accurate will increase her confidence and motivate her to continue her improvement. Adding "you need to be able to throw as good as Betty" will have the opposite effect. The feedback must, however, be accurate. Even at ages as young as 8 or 9, children can evaluate feedback and compare it against their performance. If the feedback doesn't match the skill level, then the feedback could undermine participation and enjoyment. So telling Sally that she has the strongest arm on the team when in fact she can't reach first base with a throw will discourage her from continued participation.

As parents, how do we walk a fine line between being appropriately involved in our children's youth sports activities and becoming too involved? If we create a positive environment that supports development and enjoyment and provides honest, non-critical feedback, our children will enjoy youth sports and will be open to the lessons it can teach. Despite what other parents and coaches are doing, we can emphasize behaviors and attitudes that reflect a positive approach to youth sports.

Require your children to honor the game, and personally demonstrate the behavior that you want them to emulate, regardless of what other people say or do

Attend your child's games regularly, and cheer positively

Make sure your child gets to games and practices regularly and on time

Applaud good plays by all participants regardless of team, and be friendly to fans and players from the other team

Ask your child how they would like you to be involved, and respect their feedback

Make sure you know and put your child's goals ahead of yours

After games, do more listening than talking

There is a consistently strong message in the research concerning the effect parents can have on their children's youth sports activities and enjoyment. Parents play a critical role in how much benefit their children receive from their participation. Despite the media frenzy around out-of-control parents, study after study confirms that parental participation, with the appropriate level of involvement and attitude, is vital to the success of youth sports. Rather than exclude parents, youth sports administrators must send the message that they want and value positive parental involvement in their organizations. The healthy development of their children's physical, social, and emotional growth depends on positive, involved sports parenting.

Next: Defining and Creating Successful Programs

Posted By: Jim Roynan

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